Every Sales Call Has Permission Gates → Stop Trying to Open Them With Brute Force

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WTF Is A Permission Gate?

Back in July, I wrote about Permission Gates…I know, that was a lifetime ago…so let me refresh your memory…there are steps that you need to go through in every sales process - and you can’t really pass to the next step until you (or the prospect) has given PERMISSION.

For instance, you, the seller, need to give permission to the prospect to dive into their problems after they’ve satisfied your initial qualification. Whereas, the prospect gives you permission to ask probing questions once you have jumped through their trust gate.

On a sales call, there are 5 gates. Each one has to open before the next one can.
There aren’t any shortcuts (well, there are, see Everything is on Sale, but that rarely ends well) but if you skip a gate, the last gate - the close - stays welded shut.

Here are the 5 gates…and the WTF Sales Behavior that cracks it open…

THE 5 GATES:

Gate 1: Permission to Be Honest WTF Behavior: Human First

What opens it: Warmth. Realness. Dropping the sales voice.
What slams it shut: Scripts. Fake rapport. "So tell me about your business" energy.
How you know the gate is closed: They're giving you corporate answers vs. actual answers. How you know the gate is open: The prospect is vulnerable and telling you what is happening…for realz.

Gate 2: Permission to Share the Real Problem WTF Behavior: Deep Connection

What opens it: Reflecting the prospect’s meaning, not just words. Noticing tone shifts. Asking "what did you mean when you said..." instead of jumping to the next question on your list.
What slams it shut: Jumping on the first problem they mention like a dog on a dropped steak. You hear "lead gen" and you're already pitching your lead gen services.
How you know the gate is closed: They keep giving you symptoms, not causes. Surface-level stuff anyone could google.
How you know the gate is open: "Well, here’s what I think the real issue is..." - that phrase means you just got promoted from surface-level to actual conversation.

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Gate 3: Permission to Trust Your Diagnosis WTF Behavior: Problem Identification

What opens it: Naming problems they felt but hadn't articulated. Connecting dots they didn't know were related. Seeing the shape of their pain more clearly than they can.
What slams it shut: Making it about your framework instead of their mess. "Our proprietary process" before they feel fully understood = used car sales-y.
How you know the gate is closed: They're nodding politely but not leaning in. No follow-up questions. Just waiting for you to finish.
How you know the gate is open: They start asking YOU questions about the problem. "Do you see this a lot?" "What usually causes this?"

Gate 4: Permission to Enter Decision-Making Space WTF Behavior: Make Them Feel Seen

What opens it: Summarizing their world more accurately than they've ever said it themselves. The mirror moment.
What slams it shut: Pivoting to pitch before they feel fully seen. They share something real, your eyes light up, and you pounce on the solution. Gate slams.
How you know the gate is closed: They're still holding back. Testing you. Not bought in…
How you know the gate is open: "Yup - bingo... that's exactly it." Usually said quietly. Sometimes with a long exhale.

Gate 5: Permission to Move Forward Together WTF Behavior: The Close

What opens it: Everything above. The close is earned, not executed. If Gates 1-4 are open, this one swings almost automatically.
What slams it shut: Asking for it before Gates 1-4 are open. Proposing marriage on a first date energy.
How you know the gate is closed: You're pushing. They're stalling. "Let me think about it" is usually a locked gate with a polite smile.
How you know the gate is open: THEY ask what's next. "So what would working together look like?" That's not just an interest - that's an invitation to close.

You might think that permission gates are obvious, simple, and clear, but they aren't. There are lots and lots of sales methodologies that create their own kinds of permission gates. The one permission gate that I know is the key to growing relationship-based sales like agencies is that Human First Trust. That’s Permission Gate 1 for those of you playing along at home.

In almost every sale that I have flubbed over the last decade or so, it has been the lack of trust-building that has created the failure. I think of trust building as the most important permission gate because trust allows for intimacy. Intimacy leads to a safe place for vulnerability. A safe place for vulnerability leads to honest discussions.

Despite the stereotypes around sales and selling, it isn't a method to convince or connive or coerce someone into making a decision that's beneficial to you. Sales, when done well, is the act of coming to an agreement. In order to create safe and healthy agreements, you've got to have trust, intimacy, and vulnerability on both sides to create a place that is safe enough to say, "Yes, I will take the risk of working with you." And mind you that risk is not one-sided. It is not just the risk that a prospect takes when they decide to become a client. That risk is on you, the seller. Because you are taking the risk that you will be able to help your new client.

Risk is unavoidable in business. But unconsidered risk isn't. And so if your only objective is to convince someone to say yes, you are creating a risk for them because if your goal is to convince you may not fully understand their needs. But you are taking a risk because you might be setting both your client and yourself up for failure.

So don't shoot yourself in the foot and skip permission gates and trust building by trying to rely on a script or a framework that doesn't reward authenticity, trust, and vulnerability.

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