Here's a fun little conundrum I’ve been noodling:

Same tactic. Opposite outcomes. The only difference is dosage.

(Though there are probably a few masochists out there who will pay more attention the worse the pain gets. Don't work with them…they like the pain.)

So how do you know what's too much?

Sometimes you get a paper cut and it doesn't really bother you. Get a little lemon juice in there and HOLY GUACAMOLE - watch out! But here's the thing, lemon juice pain passes pretty quickly. You rinse it off, things calm down, and life goes back to normal.

That's the rhythm of good selling.

You find the boo boo.
You squirt a little citric acid.
YELP! Surprise!
You wash it off fast.
They return to stasis.

And then, if needed, you do it again.

The problem is most agency owners get this completely wrong. They either never apply the lemon juice at all, or they keep pouring it on until the prospect drowns.

The best marketing ideas come from marketers who live it.

That’s what this newsletter delivers.

The Marketing Millennials is a look inside what’s working right now for other marketers. No theory. No fluff. Just real insights and ideas you can actually use—from marketers who’ve been there, done that, and are sharing the playbook.

Every newsletter is written by Daniel Murray, a marketer obsessed with what goes into great marketing. Expect fresh takes, hot topics, and the kind of stuff you’ll want to steal for your next campaign.

Because marketing shouldn’t feel like guesswork. And you shouldn’t have to dig for the good stuff.

Sign Up Free

I was explaining this to a client the other day. She was having a hard time with the idea of working with prospects to find the problem and explore its impact. She comes from the "make them say yes enough times and they won't say no" school of thought.

She didn't want to poke around in her prospect's boo-boos and make them feel bad.

I get it. It feels mean. It feels manipulative. It feels like those gross Challenger Sale peeps who think every discovery call should be like an intervention run by a gunnery sergeant.

But here's what happens when you never apply the lemon juice…you have lovely, pleasant conversations that go absolutely nowhere. The prospect likes you. They think you are so nice. They "need to think about it." They'll "circle back after Q1."

They become Casper the Friendly Ghoster.

There's no urgency. No reason to act now versus next quarter versus never. They like you, they probably will think a lot about what you say, but there's nothing pushing them ahead.

These folks are the masters of THE PAIN CAVE.

They've read Gap Selling cover to cover, and they live for the moment when they can take their prospect to the pain cave. They are sure that bigger the gap between current state and desired state, the more the prospect will pay. They spend the entire call making that gap as wide and as painful as possible.

"So you're telling me you've been losing $50K a month to this problem? And it's been happening for how long? Eighteen months? So that's $900,000 you've lit on fire. And your board knows about this? How do they feel about that? And your team, OMFG, they must be exhausted. Are people leaving? What's the cost of that turnover?"

On and on and on.

They keep their prospect in the pain cave as long as possible. There’s so much pain, the prospect doesn't think "I need to fix this….", they think "I need to get off this call or I might die…"

Here's the dirty secret about pain-based selling - if the only relief is on the other side of a contract, few are gonna stick it out. You might have the right solution, but your prospect needs to get out of their pain long enough to be able to make a decision. A little bit of pain is motivating. A maximum amount of pain is paralyzing.

If your whole approach relies on keeping them 100% uncomfortable, 100% in distress, you're working against human nature. The body wants to return to stasis. The mind wants to feel safe. And if you won't let them, they'll find someone who will.

They won't hire you. They'll look for a solution that feels easier.

Do you keep your prospects trapped in the pain cave? Or are you the “Generous Professor” sort who teaches and never closes? You probably have no idea…Call Lab gives you free sales call analysis, and Call Lab Pro digs in and gives you strategic reframes, follow up suggestions and weekly, monthly and quarterly coaching. Check it out.

So here's my WTF approach:

Step 1: Find the boo-boo.

Not the surface problem they initially present. The real one. "We need more leads" is never the actual issue. The actual issue is the founder who can't step out of sales, or skeezy outreach tactics to the wrong people, or not really understanding their prospect.

Your job is to understand their world well enough to know where it hurts…before they tell you. (That way, you already have a sense of where to boo-boo is…)

Step 2: Apply a little lemon juice.

This is where you help them feel the cost of the problem. Not through “Bro, do you hate money?” or “If you don’t solve this right now, I can’t help you.” bullshit, but rather through understanding & clarity:

"Based on what you're telling me, every month without a functioning pipeline costs you about $80K in missed revenue and 15 hours of your time that should be spent on product. Is that roughly right?"

That's a sting, not a knockout punch. But it's an honest one. You're not manipulating them, you are helping them say & hear the hard stuff.

Step 3: Wash it off fast.

This is the part most people skip.

As soon as they feel the sting, you pivot. Not to your pitch, but to empathy, understanding, and a path forward.

"Wow - that’s a lot on your plate. That makes it feel even bigger, and the options probably seem out of reach. Here's what I'm thinking could help..."

You bring them back to safety. You aren’t the source of the pain, you are the person who understands it and knows the way out.

Step 4: Return to stasis.

This is key. Before you apply pressure again, you let them settle. You have a normal human conversation. You answer their questions. You treat them like a peer, not a target.

Stasis isn't the absence of urgency. It's safety. They still feel the need to act because they remember the sting. But now, they remember the sting and they feel like you're the one who can and will help them avoid it.

Step 5: Repeat as needed.

A sales process isn't one conversation. It's a series of them. At each stage, you might need to find another boo boo, apply another squirt of lemon juice and wash it off again.

Here’s the cardinal rule - if you never get them back to stasis, if it's a constant lemon juice attack from first call to proposal, you will wear out your prospects. They disappear. They stop returning emails. They "go with someone else" who they vaguely describe as "a better fit."

Their version of lemon juice in your boo boo? We found someone who delivers "a less exhausting experience."

My client thought she only had two options:

There's a third path.

You go into the problem with them, not at them.

You aren’t amplifying pain, but rather helping them see clearly what's actually happening and what it's costing them. And then, before the pain becomes overwhelming, you show them you understand, you care, and you know the way forward.

That's not manipulation. That's Sales as a Service. (As if we need another definition od SaaS - oy!)

The zealots who are acolytes of the Challenger Sale and the SPIN purists get this wrong because they treat pain as a weapon to wield so the prospect finally submits.

The WTF approach treats clarity as a gift. You aren’t hurting them, instead you are helping them see. Then they feel safe enough to do something about it.

Next time you're on a discovery call, pay attention to the following:

When you find a real problem: Don't skate past it. Don't immediately jump to your solution. Pause. Help them quantify it. Help them feel it. ("What does that cost you in a typical month?" "How long has this been going on?" "What happens if it's still true in six months?")

That's the lemon juice.

When they start to squirm: Watch for it. They get quiet, or they start talking faster, or they try to change the subject. That's your signal.

Wash it off.

"Look, the only thing that matters is what we do next, right? You're clearly aware of the problem. That's why we're talking. Let's figure out what to do about it."

Then let them breathe. Ask them what questions they have. Let them redirect. Be a human being having a conversation, not a process-follower running a playbook.

And then, if needed, find the next wound. Maybe it's a different problem. Maybe it's a stakeholder who needs to be convinced. Maybe it's a fear about implementation that's lurking under the surface.

Find it. Sting it briefly. Wash it off. Return to stasis.

Repeat until you've built enough clarity and trust that the proposal writes itself.

So many people never apply the lemon juice.

So many people never clean it off.

The ones who win are the ones who understand that prospects are people, too. Find the wound. Sting it briefly. Wash it away with empathy and a clear path forward. Let them return to safety.

That's not a technique - that's how you help someone pay attention to the real issues and real solutions.

And weirdly, that's when they start writing checks.

We’ve just ticked over into February. So that means a couple of things… January is FINALLY over & it’s time to prep for tax season. (BTW, your W-2 & 1099s should have been out the door already!). Here are some tools that you might want to have in your arsenal ASAP:
Quickbooks: Yea - these guys are big. They might be clunky, but your accountant will probably tell you to get QB. Save 30% on your 1st 6 months.
XERO: These guys are a little fresher and groovier than QB, and they do a free 30 minute onboarding. They are definitely trying hard to unseat the big guys. Save up to 90% off your first 6 months via this link. (See what I mean by trying harder?)
Gusto: These guys make payroll, health benefits, 401k management, time tracking, paying contractors (US & international) and more REALLY, REALLY simple. Try them out.
Parakeeto: Parakeeto is a monster in the “how do I make my agency really profitable space”. They have an amazing DIY profitability course, a killer revenue-based profit management service & a high-quality free profit toolkit.
Mike Michalowicz: This dude completely changes the way millions of SMBs think about money. Read Profit First (a classic) or his latest The Money Habit. You won’t be disappointed.

Stop coupon extensions before they even touch your checkout. KeepCart blocks 125+ plugins like Honey, CapitalOne Shopping, and Karma from auto-applying random codes and draining your margins.

Brands like Quince and Newton use KeepCart to protect revenue and keep every sale clean.

After months of using KeepCart, Mando says “It’s paid for itself multiple times over.”

Get 2 months free and start blocking today.

Our sponsorships are ads (obviously - duh). But some of the companies or services linked in our content may pay us a minimal commission if you buy something from them. Potential payment is never a factor in what we link to, and we have direct experience with every company or service where you can buy something that we mention in our content.